At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
