wakey wakey hands off snakey
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
