"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
