White coat. Heels.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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