I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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