I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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