the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
