So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
