Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
