That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
