Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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