OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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