New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
