So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
