ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
