just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
