"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
