i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Panties = found
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