my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
