Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Come on in and take your pants off
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