i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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