I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
