i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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