we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
