Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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