he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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