I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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