I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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