Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize