But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
