dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
