she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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