A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
