I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
