so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize