I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize