i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
