Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
high people should be assigned attendants
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You took a bar mat shot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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