We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
