I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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