I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
