I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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