so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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