Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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