If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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