Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
try to milk me bitch
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
