she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
