He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you had me at cake vodka
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
