He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
