I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
