you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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