I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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