sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
