I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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