I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
