How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize