i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
