I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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