I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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